Taken for granted

It stood there, silently watching over its passers-by, ignored by most, recognized by very few, actualized by none.

It has seen perhaps seasons more than the days in a year. Perhaps it has seen happiness and sorrows, all through the eyes of others and self, going unnoticed yet being there. It must have been a father for it always kept silent shade for the people passing through that road.  gone through roughest of weathers and kept the children safe from sun and rain. Not expecting anything in return knowing that as the weather clears up, the children will go away. The Birds who kept their nest in that tree, like daughters in the house, too leave, one day leaving an empty nest, an empty house behind.

The tree gave its everything to the family, the people, it gave fruits, shade, wood, that the family used peacefully to make a furniture in their respective homes. I wonder how the ending for that tree would have been different if some fool, instead of taking the tree as a potential for product, actually like the traditions in India, had made a small place just near the roots to pray for the respective god, or in this case a room for the old father who gave his all for the kids who took everything and left for good.

This particular tree stands tall on the way from Hanuman camp to riverfront Ahmedabad.  With roots so deep that it still stands strong, representing the father in every family, providing oxygen, invariably reducing the pollution, like a father would try to remove the hurdles from his child's life. All said and done, being left alone every single time, when the policemen find a new criminal, a car sees a green signal, visitors to the Hanuman Camp move towards the temple,  the school kids now prefer the fruits brought from the market rather than picking up from the roots of the trees.

To end, I ask a question when was the last time you, my dear readers, watered the roots of the tree?
We are too busy expanding our roots, that we forget about the tree because of which you have grown so strong.

This was a trial to write with a new aspect. I look forward to your views and comments.
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The Break

She has a high fever just like the other week. we give her some medicines, as every household in India is a doctor in itself, we know way too much than we should.

The coming day she again had a fever which was causing ever her bones to ache. I requested her to go visit a doctor with me, oh how stubborn she is, she doesn't agree, I try to explain how important it is to show to the doctor, but she said I'm too weak to even get up. if it doesn't get better by tomorrow we will surely go. okay. keeping in mind the fact that my house is on the third floor it was difficult to make her walk even to the elevator. the next day she felt a percent better and early morning we took her to the hospital where she was prescribed with some tests. As per the report she was OK, nothing much was wrong, so we take the prescribed medicines and come back home. 

The same afternoon, the medicines are of no help and the fever persists. as she complains of fever I immediately took her to the nearest hospital and again she undergoes certain blood tests which showed that she had dengue. which justifies the reason for continuous high fever. 

next moment we know, she is admitted to the ICU with IV drips running down in her veins and she constantly saying that I do not want to be in the hospital, take me home. do not get me admitted. we stay with her for a while and then come back wondering when did the mosquito bite her.  A few months back only, she underwent angioplasty which took her some time to get back to her healthy and active self.

Meanwhile, I too was busy taking care of her which lead to being away from the internet for a while. By God's grace now she is doing quite well. meanwhile, I wondered if any of the people receiving my blog link had visited or read any of my posts. To my surprise, had I been an eCommerce or any other company whats app message that promises money if we forward, my link would have been famous, but alas I am a person whom they know personally and their action could actually lead to a small-time success.

The truth of these days. We would blindly support someone we don't know, and in the case of a known one or a friend, we would be very passive. To all the small time or freelancing people reading this. who have gone through the same, If nothing else, I would go ahead and read your blog or visit you post, I required I will comment, because I know how does it feel when the numbers in your WhatsApp list, the friends on facebook and other contacts are of no use simply because they are too busy to give you one minute of their time. 

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World is not as bad as we think

It's all about what impact you leave on others mind and heart.

Social video making apps are on a hype nowadays as it gives a platform to anyone who wishes to be famous for acting, singing, dancing, lip-syncing or for posting most random acts. Scrolling through one of those I see many posts where the people have performed, all kinds of people, from rich to poor, any language, able, specially abled, survivors (warriors) of  acid attack and some more people with some kind of facial characteristics which would make them a topic of conversation if they were to go to a market or to a gathering where they had people  more than their closed ones.

It is very obvious that when anyone who has a characteristic which becomes an identification factor for them, like oh see The Fat Kid, or that fair one, the dark-skinned, the one with the scars, the one who limps, the bald one, the one with only one arm, the one who is  boney.  No matter how much one would be a great person, a performer or just great altogether, they are still judged on the basis of looks, identified in the manner. 

I went to the comment section of a few people who could be easily identified as one of the above mentioned. What did I expect? What do you expect to read in comments? Isn't it obvious that we expect the people like the society to be commenting upon the looks, I expected the same. As per my expectations, there were comments, rude and shaming the person. I felt a sense of anger, just wanting to bash the commenter, Freedom of speech is it? Humiliating a person based on their looks, but what shoo the floor beneath my feet was the number of people who already had bashed the commentator with hundreds of positive words for the performer. if I was to give an exact figure, on a post there were 378 comments out of which 8 were of people loading the performers with negative words, whereas rest 370 were just people spreading positivity in that one person and everyone's life.

This made me realize how wrong do I perceive the people to be. There are 10% of people who have wrong intentions, that's where we focus, totally ignoring another 90% of people who have a fair and good intention.  Yet we expect wrongs more than we expect the right things to happen. There are still people who see beyond the looks and they are the ones who make me believe that The world is not as bad as we think.

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Curbing The Cravings

I want to eat Chocolates, Jalebi, Samose, Aalu Paratha, Cheese Maggi, Gulab Jamun, noodles and everything, all together.  We all feel like this at some time or the other.

Starting as a craving, the tongue reacting to the food starts to rule us.  We don't even realize that our tongue, an organ in our body responsible to salivate and keep the mouth wet and realize the taste,  can lead us to such a dead end or a wonderful start, create havoc or get the situations better. It rules us, be it for our speech, our stomach, our taste, or our Cravings.   

How do I differentiate between hunger and cravings?

Hunger

• It comes on gradually
• Hunger is felt in your stomach
• Any food will be okay
• hunger is easy to satisfy

Craving

• It hits suddenly
• It is a mental desire
• Specific food wanted
• It is hard to satisfy

Most often we mistake cravings to be hunger and the results become difficult to accept.

So what do we do? What do I do when I crave at different and weird times?

I follow the rule of two

I start by drinking at least  two big gulps of water,

Give myself two minutes to realize,

Then decide either of the two conditions

Condition 1- I am thirsty and so my mind was playing games with me so that I load up with something.

Condition 2- I am actually hungry and so started craving for something.

Pay attention to how your body reacts to your actions.

It is okay to eat a small block of chocolate if you have tried to avoid the same but haven't been able to, but make sure that you do not end up eating the entire packet or more than what you should. When the mind and the tongue mix well, the stomach gets loaded. Do not give in to your mind playing games.  Keep a count of what you eat. Switch to healthier alternatives. We all need to eat, if we do it by tricking our mind that we are eating what the tongue has ordered and eating healthy at the same time, it would be great.

I'm no Diet expert to comment on what you can substitute with which item, also everyone has a different body and its varied mechanism, so I could just share about what I do. Earlier I used to live to eat. Now I made a small change by eating healthy to live healthily. Yes, I do accept the fact that I have done all sort of binge and emotional and boredom and craving eatings, after trying out all the type of rash eating behavior I realized I was always hungry for more food. Having hunger swings like I have never had food. Going to the restaurant and ordering for two plates instead of one just to be sure that I don’t have to wait for another. I had a slow digestion which meant my stomach would still feel empty even after I had eaten, which resulted in me eating extra, also my tongue always kept wanting more of taste. To give it the taste I ate more and more.

These days I do try and curb my cravings, I trick my tongue. When I crave for sweets I eat a bite, very small yet enough to give taste to my tongue. I don’t do that every time, only once a week.
 I have taken a step to not give in to temptations. Have you?

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Words make a difference.

During the everyday activities, we often meet some people whom we instantly develop a blockade with, to avoid their negative vibes. 

Very recently I met a lady in her mid-70s, well educated, sophisticated looks, the first impression of her wasn't good at all though. Being an army brat, it is in our nerves to greet who so ever we meet, so I did.

Good afternoon aunty, how do you do?

How have you become so fat? Came the reply in the form of this question, from a lady whom I met for the very first time in my life.

All I could do there was stand and ignore what she said, I did not want to insult an elderly with my reply, but it doesn't mean my superhero was silent. 

I indulged myself in doing some important paperwork on the internet, meanwhile my superhero, my mother was sitting right next to the lady and oh! was she so irritated, The lady kept telling my mom, your daughter is fat, why is she fat (no she isn't a doctor who could cure my health). After listening for a few mins Mom replied with the most appropriate and kind answer she could, she is my daughter and we don't mind if she has been fat since she was little kid and if we do not care, we wish no one else barges in her personal matter. so many times unwillingly we have to keep quiet. because social etiquettes come up in our way of becoming a back talker.

It gets very important for each one of us to be responsible with our words no matter where we are, we don't know how much a single unthoughtful word can hurt the other person. Moreover, it can leave an impact for a long time. While speaking it gets very important to be adequate on the etiquette as it will help you gain respect, be polite, be clear, concise and creative at times, and make you a person with the best communication. I have met people who can instantly win the other person's attention with few words, and some make the other people snap off very quickly. It all depends on how one interacts and courteous one can be with the words and the etiquettes. 

Every day we meet someone who makes us fight with yourself for giving them a chance to speak, spare yourself from this day to day fight, speak as if you have nothing else but be sternly courteous. It is very difficult. but it will be worth every moment, you will practice self-control by stopping yourself from blurting out the absurdity and while doing that you will. improve your own and the other person's conscience. 

What should one do when the other person is extremely nagging and rude and dirty with their words? Go ahead and once in a while loosen up the rope of self-control. For there is nothing more than peace of mind. 

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Fat To Fit (part 2)

Losing control simply means losing an entire battle, That's what happened. I lost my battle towards getting fit and ended up gaining a few more kilograms than what I had lost.

Often times we tend to lose our control over stuff which we shouldn't, like food. It ended up making me lazy and a house for different types of illnesses. This time I was running, running away from my health. We start avoiding everything when we are at fault, That ego, which stops us from going back to better stuff, I had cherished that ego for long, so long that I once again started hating my appearance in the mirror. 

None the less life still gives us numerous chances, we often fail to recognize one. I recognized one such opportunity and took as a challenge recently, with the hesitation, of course, getting out of the very unhealthy and fatal comfort zone was pretty important. With the help of my family and my trainer who is now also a friend outside the training area, I began the journey again.

I have had my days of fatigue and tiredness ever since my journey started again, but when I see in the mirror, I can see a person who stepped out of her comfort zone for her own good.
A Facebook post read 'Would your younger self-be proud of what you are today?'  Earlier my answer would have been No,  but now I am certain that it might not be proud of what I have become but will be proud of the efforts im putting in my journey from Fat to fit. This is a fightback.

Dont we all get too comfortable in our own comfort zone and end up beleiving that we are made to do that, try and feel bad about what people are saying against you, take offence, take challenges that you set up for yourself. Get up and start that journey which you need to go for. I am the push you need. I challenge you.

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Fat to Fit (the long journey)

Want to join the gym? Read the message from a long-lost school friend of mine. Without even thinking twice I replied with a yes typed in all caps. 

Don't we all aim to achieve something or the other but all we need is an external push to make it happen. Yes, I do know that the power and motivation have to come from within, then why in spite of all that, are unable to achieve? 
Sometimes that outer push, that challenge or that need to do it,  is required no matter how motivated you are, we all require a push, without it we are like the ball filled with potential energy waiting to be turned into Kinetic energy.

The text was a push for me. It is totally ok to have something from the outside that prepares you to do what you have been silently planning, it may be improving your own health, going for that weird haircut, painting the walls with graffiti, taking up that long wished swimming or cookery class. Plus you may get a reason to not quit since it becomes a common affair between you and the push.

Just saying yes wasn't enough, I knew I was letting myself into something which will take up my time and energy and ultimately the fats away. The day came and I hoped that I do not get a text from that friend, I was scared to go out and workout at a place where several other people will be there. It felt like that because certainly, I had made my self so uncomfortable with the way I looked that I stopped going out even for a walk. To gain something you have to take just one step outside of your house and you will move ahead to the destination.

I too took the step. Started with the workout, every day I tried and wished that I didn't have to go there. Luck wasn't in my favor, so day after day I felt massive body ache and cramps in the initial two weeks. As the weighing scale started showing desired results, I felt better and stronger. Also, an important factor was diet control, by a person who did too much of emotional eating and binge eating and ate whenever bored. It was the most difficult task for me.

It all continued for a few months, desired results, diet control everything was perfect, in the meantime, I missed the food, I missed everything, staying away from home and mom for so long and then finally getting to meet her and eat the food made by her, I lost all the control. In the process, I did not realize when my cheat day turned into cheat week to cheat month and I was back to square one. I was homesick for so long that when I went home, I wanted to enjoy it all before I could go back to the same old life.

The journey does not end here. show some love and comment on the post for more. Don't forget to hit the G+ button.

The Fat kid (The Ending)

A random neighbor aunty coming and telling me, 'beta tum motti ho lekin kaam bahut furti se karti ho, tension mat liya karo' (dear you are fat but you do the chores really fast, don't worry. )

It took me years and many Instagram posts to learn to love who I am and be comfortable with myself, slowly and steadily I started following my heart. Yes, I still sometimes get super conscious about what others might think about me, but it doesn't play an important role as I end up appreciating myself for taking up all the negative comments and still being myself. If I tried to be everyone else, who would be me?

I still get the not so kind comments sometimes from the most random stranger on the street, someone I barely know, friends and sometimes the people I know very well because if you are fat, its everyone's moral duty to make you lose the inches. I won't say I'm not working towards making myself better, I definitely am, but for that or for anything, this fat kid does not require anyone's approval.

A thousand posts about self-love and seeing so many girls and ladies on the heavier side of the scale and still doing everything flawlessly made me realize that the problem was always in my mind and not in my body.

Yes, I have had phases when I wanted to disappear completely but now it makes me happy that people have said those things to me, now I have the best comebacks ever, and most of the situations I have gone through tend to repeat every single time.

I do reply very positively now, like to the neighbor aunty, I simply said: "no aunty I do not worry about anything, I am the way I am, and pretty happy about it, I'm doing my best being healthy and happy".  I have started to receive several messages which tell me that they are sorry for what they did, and some even shared that how they had gone through similar experience but for different reasons,  all I want to tell them is make sure you don't make someone else feel the same way that I did, the same way you did.

If you cannot motivate, do not put up a bad impression on others. For you its just one person you said it to, for the other on the receiving end you might be the Nth person telling them what they already know.

Now its a fight between me and everyone else who wants me to be perfect as per the society standards set by no one.

The Fat Kid Part II

Thank you for the love you all showed in my first post.
to continue with the fat kid,

With passing time, I became more and more ignorant towards people calling me names and mocking me. Perhaps it was something that I had heard, dogs bark when elephants walk (pun intended), it did make me strong. growing up was no easy as every day something or the other would make me realize how I'm not good enough.

 I started putting up walls for my own self, would choose standing if there was less space, at a very young age I was the one making younger babies sit on my lap in the car to accommodate people so that they do not think that I'm hogging up their space. That wasn't true and you should never be apologetic of who you are, but I was, every single day, every passing moment.

Oh, and how can I ever forget every creepy Uncle and aunties coming and telling me 'beta wazan kam karlo warna kon Shadi Karega Tumse (dear loose weight or else no one will marry you). Nothing made me happier than knowing no one would marry me. I mean I will never have to leave mum and dad that way. One thing about the people around me has been, everyone cared(not) about me, well so much that they did not realize that everyone telling me to lose weight could be heartbreaking for me.

The thing about being the thin or normal sized kid is, you seldom hear people telling you stuff, obviously they tell you to eat more potatoes or god knows what all.  In my case, everyone i met has advised me something or the other or else has made fun of me straight up on my face. The most common thing was, wake up and drink lukewarm water with lemon, and then some advised me to stop eating at all. Yes, people can be so shitty to a child...

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The Fat Kid

Everyone was laughing at me, 
a nervous me, trying to gather the courage to stand up and take a few steps to walk.
It was one of the worst days that I have gone through so far. some naughty classmates of mine had planned to play a prank on me and had replaced the chair with a broken one which could not take my heavyweight and gave up the very moment I sat on it. 

I fell hard on the floor, I remember how everyone was staring at me and just as I sat, they burst out into laughter.  It wasn't new for me, I had earlier also been targeted as a mockery topic in the past but none of them actually tried to hurt me like this. 
soon enough the teacher comes to the class and starts with the regular class activities avoiding looking at me and trying to stop her laughter.

So, let me tell you a bit about myself, I bet you have already made out that I was the fat kid in the class who everyone made fun of, but at the same time, people were very fond of me because I was very sweet and helpful no matter how awful the people have been with me. Also, my physical appearance never stopped me from being a Sportsperson, a swimmer to be exact who has represented her State at the nationals, average in studies, talkative, loves food (obviously).

Father was serving in the army and so I had to change several schools in 12 years.  each new school had the same kind of people and they all wanted to do the same, make fun of the new fat kid in their class. getting all the perks of being a sportsperson, I still did not want to attend the school, even my so-called friends called me by the same name any stranger would call me, 'Motti'(fatso, fatty), I tried telling everyone that how much such names hurt me, but I guess they considered me too emotional and started ignoring me, this happens not in one school but in each and every school that I have studied in.

In these situations, I had no way I could run away so I had a few fights and gave a bleeding nose to few... 
Show some love and motivate this fat kid to tell the rest of the story.